Man Gets Angry At Wife For Having A Private Personal Savings Account
Secrets in a relationship are NEVER okay. But, is there such a thing as a harmless secret?
This man caused a lot of controversy when he asked the internet if he was wrong to get upset at his wife's private bank account.
Reddit, Am I The A-Hole?
Reddit's AITA page (Am I The A-hole) consists of users telling a story that happened in their personal life recently.
The people who see the story then get to decide whether the person's feelings are truly justified or not. Think of it like a jury or something.
Her Secret
In a post submitted to AITA, the man began by explaining he and his wife have been married for four years.
He just recently discovered that for four years, she's been keeping a not-so-little secret.
Checking The Bank Statements
The man claims that it all started when he went through financial documents because something was wrong in the statements, and he figured it out.
The account opened up four years ago, and she's been auto depositing 10% of her income every year. The account had a total of $25,000 in it.
He Approached Her About It
When he approached her about it, his wife told him it’s a completely healthy thing to do especially for women.
She says that she wants to be secured if something happened to me or if I started abusing her.
He Was Upset About It
In the post, the man said that he finds that extremely illogical and felt that it was pretty bad that she’s been lying this whole time.
He had put all of his money into the joint account since both of them agreed to merge our finances.
I Blew Up
The man continues, writing, "she says that I can also put 10% of my income every year into my own account."
The man didn't feel like it was enough and threatened to take 40% of his income (four years times 10%) and put it into a separate account. The wife claimed that was financial abuse.
He Wasn't Sure How To Feel
The man writes that after the fight, his wife went to stay at a friend's house.
He wrote that "most of my friends think I'm in the right, but I don’t know at this point. They’re my friends, they’re more likely to agree with me regardless. I think I need to see another POV."
Some Food For Thought
People pointed out that the wife fully agreed to share their income and banking accounts when they got married. Her keeping the account was going behind his back.
He could have tried harder to understand things on her side, as the money was for an emergency scenario. But this argument doesn't justify the fact that she kept it a secret because he should have had a chance to make his own account too.
He Did What She Was Afraid Of
Some users jumped to defend the wife, as the man getting very upset and angry about the account was arguably why she had it in the first place.
Situations can escalate very quickly, and if nothing ever went wrong the money would be both of theirs in the end. So many didn't see the harm of her stowing the cash. Read on to see a few other opinions about the situation!
People Claimed That She Was Wrong To Lie About It
Some thought that his anger was completely justified, and thought that the wife was playing the victim.
Gaslighting occurs when someone manipulates another person by forcing them to question their thoughts and the events occurring around them.
Should Everyone Have Their Own Savings Account?
Other users thought that it was fair, as everyone should have their own savings account.
People pointed out that in case something goes horribly wrong in a marriage, it's best to have your own money just in case.
Some Didn't Find Any Harm In The Wife's Decision
Additionally, many people pointed out that all she was doing was technically just risk management.
But, should the husband have been left in the dark about this plan for four years?
The Verdict
The verdict was "No A-holes here." Arguably, both parties were in the wrong, and Redditors couldn't decide on who was the most to blame.
She felt exposed and probably a little guilty, whereas he felt insulted.
They Couldn't Work It Out In The End
The user added an edit to his original post and wrote that they're probably going to get a divorce.
He made another edit and claimed: "She texted me with some uncomfortable news. She thinks our relationship can’t work because she feels I’m abusive. I’m not going to update anymore."
