Second-Time Mom Demands Expensive Shower Gifts, But Her Broke Cousin Refuses, Dividing The Entire Family
Handmade gifts are special. Perhaps while not as expensive as something purchased from a store, they are individually crafted with tender loving care and time.
One university student decided to handcraft a baby blanket for her cousin’s upcoming baby shower. But when the gift wasn’t up to her cousin’s standards, she demanded a gift from the registry. When the student refused, it divided the entire family.
The Baby-Filled Backstory
Redditor Careless_Diamond_930 is a 26-year-old university student and her cousin Beth is 35 years old and pregnant for the second time. She recently shared her baby shower and baby blanket-filled story to the Am I The A**hole subreddit.
So Careless_Diamond_930 loves to make handmade blankets, and she’s pretty good at it too. She says it’s a personalized yet high-quality gift that people can’t get anywhere else, and in fact, she made one for Beth’s first child, writing, "I made a nice blue baby blanket with puppies on it for Beth's first child, and whenever I go to visit, he always was carrying it around."
Wrapped Up In The Gift Registry
So traditionally, baby showers are thrown for the mother-to-be for their first child. But this expectant mom is breaking tradition by also holding a shower for her second child. Reminders go out for Beth’s baby shower, and there’s a gift registry. OP (original poster) quickly notices however how expensive the gifts are and as a struggling student, doesn’t know how she’ll be able to afford anything.
“I understand that baby supplies can be pricey, but the cheapest thing on the registration is a stuffed rabbit costing $25,” she writes. “As a university student, I can't afford these things and figured a blanket I made would be a sweet gift.”
Strings Attached
OP decides to make another baby blanket as she did for Beth’s first child, but she soon learns the gift is no longer up to Beth’s standards.
“I got a text back immediately from her saying that I had to pick something from the registry or purchase a gift card from Babies 'R' Us with a minimum amount of $100,” writes OP. “I asked if there was an issue with her son's blanket that would warrant her refusal of accepting my gift, and she stated that because it was homemade it looked ‘tacky’ and it made her look cheap for not having a tag attached to it.”
Who’s The Real Cheapskate?
OP responds with “I, under no circumstances, will be applying to her gift registration, and now she can kiss the baby blanket goodbye. Beth became upset stating that I was a cheapskate and was depriving her unborn baby of needed supplies. I pointed out that she still had plenty of toys, books, old clothes, strollers, etc. from her first child that she could still use.”
She adds that Beth never sent out thank you letters or even a text after her first baby shower.
Living The High Life
OP later provides an update and explains that Beth and her husband are not actually financially struggling, as she is a nurse and he’s a surgeon. She also points out that Beth has a habit of requesting high-end gifts (like vegan nipple cream and a $250+ playpen) only to later become wasteful (such as giving away the playpen after only six months because it was “too big.”)
“She's been known to throw out things that are not to her liking, even if the item is brand new and unopened,” she writes.
“Am I The A**hole?
OP continues that a few days after, Beth relents and says she'll take the baby blanket. Still insulted, OP refuses outright and says she's no longer attending the baby shower. In a later update, she explains sometime after things had cooled down, she agreed to make the baby blanket, but stuck to her guns and wouldn’t attend the shower, citing, “not making a blanket for her child would be wrong and I would be misdirecting my frustration at the wrong person.”
She asks Reddit: “Am I the a**hole?”
The Stork Is Bringing A Baby (And Drama)
The incident has divided OP and Beth’s family, and OP writes, “I have cousins and aunts flooding my phone with complaints on how I am a bad person. My parents are on my side, however.”
In an update, she explains that Beth hadn’t told her relatives about the baby blanket offer, making it sound like OP refused entirely to get her a baby shower gift off the registry. Now, the tables have turned, and “it is Beth in the hot seat.”
Reddit To The Rescue
After Careless_Diamond_930 shared her story and additional updates, Reddit voted overwhelmingly that she was “not the a**hole,” but the same could not be said of Beth.
Most commented on Beth’s behavior and felt that her second baby shower was not actually a celebration of her baby, but a selfish gift grab. A few point out that Beth demanding OP give her a $100 gift card instead of using the registry was a step too far.
“Everyone Sucks Here”
Not everybody, however, was in OP’s cozy, blanketed corner. While they acknowledged that Beth is a diva, a few accuse her of being judgemental and not understanding the needs of a mother.
“Your post comes across as pretty judgy on her registry—nipple cream and maternity diapers are a necessity for women who've recently given birth, sorry. I think it's great that you wanted to make a blanket for the baby…but you also need to understand that many people register for things they need and don't want friends and family gifting off-registry,” writes one Reddit user.
Made With Love
Many Redditors also commented that they’d love to receive a thoughtful, handmade gift such as a blanket. Some say that even as adults, they still treasure the blankets given to them as children. One person writes, “I'm 27 years old and still have the blanket my grandma sewed for me as a baby. In times of stress or depression, it’s a great comfort.”
So it looks like Beth’s new baby will receive a handmade blanket after all. But it’s unknown whether if after all the dust settles OP will be able to knit herself a better relationship with Beth.
